Putting ourselves out there
This article is going to focus a little more on how we are putting ourselves out there as leaders: looking at the way we perform in public – at a meeting, speaking at an event or at interview - and the thinking we might adopt to make a lasting impact so we can win people over to our way of thinking.
To add to this, I would like us to also consider a quote from American President Harry S Truman: If you can't convince them, confuse them.
So what might we have to think and do differently to get our message across?
Why apologise?
By confusing people, Truman probably means giving people what they are least expecting as another tactic for winning them over.
My question is, can we confuse people, if we are confused ourselves? It's true that many of us muddle wanting to be ‘heard and respected’ with ‘wanting to be liked’ and this is often linked to the disabled experience when being left out is understood as not being ‘likeable’ in some way.
We also know that at times, consciously or unconsciously, we are very good at trying to make people feel better about the fact that we have impairments, apologising for when we step up to have our say or lead, particularly if that step up requires a ‘ramp’ an ‘interpreter’ or something else to ensure we have an equal footing.
We don’t plan these apologies, they just pop out, like gremlins and are, in many ways, fuelled by society’s pervading inflexibility and intolerance of disability and diversity. We need to break this belief system in ourselves.
What I feel is important here, is to replace apologising with something different. Let's face it, there was never a standing ovation for an apologetic performer!
Soft Performance
Now some of you might shudder at the thought of ‘performance’ but we have to try and reframe this for ourselves, because performing is part of leadership.
As Rob Goffee and Gareth Jones say in their Book Why Should Anyone be Lead by You: ...there is inevitably a theatrical element to leadership: it is a performance for the benefit of followers.
Performance doesn’t have to be a big belter of a thing! It can be soft and softly spoken. Many of us can’t project or pump up the volume, nor would want to. But who has told us that we can’t lead with a gentle tone, a choreographed pause, a wry smile and of course something really important to say?
Gandhi was the master of the soft approach with what was described then as his ‘feeble voice’- and he led millions.
Take a look at a film we found of Gandhi on You Tube - the first time he allowed anyone to film him talking. If you want a transcript, we can send this to you, just ask.
What bit of yourself ....?
So what bit of yourself do you share at any one time?
Sometimes a piece of clothing can be something that will surprise or make you stand out, or a metaphor thrown into the conversation, or a story about your life that illustrates something about you - and not always the ‘disabled you’: It's important to think about how these little ‘reveals’ might impact on any one gathered audience.
As Jean Tomlin HR Director for 2012 - the Olympic and Paralympic Games - once said: I get people to follow my ideas by being me but channelling the bits of me to the context of the situation.
So we do need to think more about how we bring our idiosyncracies into play and match aspects of ourselves to individual performance situations and opportunities
Deploying our Diversity
Should we also be thinking about playing more to our differences and finding a way to effectively display our diversity?
You may already know where your differences have their greatest impact and these don’t just have to be related to your impairments but the way you do things, your methods or your manner.
Everyone is different – but the often double or triple diversity of our lives can add to, not detract from, our leadership credibility.
Taking control of our access needs and ‘sporting them’ can be incredibly empowering - often a winning tactic! Have you ever thought about owning the way you glide in a room, the way you hold up proceedings whilst you plug in your gizmo, the way you take a break, or request an interpreter or recline on your sofa! Why not think of these things giving you additional leverage so that you feel more in control? This might just move you a million miles beyond apology so you can own these things with consummate pride, deploying your differences to serve your leadership purpose?
Tales of the Unexpected
Rob Goffee and Gareth Jones in their aforementioned book go on to say ....an authentic sense of self arises from individuals coming to terms with their own biography.
We know that many of our experiences have been difficult, but to focus solely on these can possibly detract from the rich potential in the whole story of our lives. If we don't think more widely, we may play into the hands of people who only see our disability.
So why not try talking about our experiences and our lives using 'tales of the unexpected' and see where that gets us in creating the lasting impact we want?
Sarah Pickthall, Sync coaching
